How I Build Self-Confidence
Building self-confidence is an ongoing process that must be worked on every single day. One of the most important things that I’ve learned is that you absolutely must take care of yourself in-order to navigate through the everyday ups and downs. Even in my saddest moments, I’ve learned to find ways to see the good in every situation. Ultimately, each experience is a lesson and every struggle brings wisdom if you’re receptive to this reality. There have been times when I wasn’t treated fairly, or with the love that I knew I deserved; and this can be devastating to say the least. In my current state of wisdom, I don’t allow myself to sink to a place of self-loathing or regret. Instead, I embrace every feeling and every emotion and slowly pick it apart. Learning to really analyze yourself and think about who you are, why you react to certain things, and really get to know and understand yourself is essential to self-confidence and growth. This requires stillness and the ability to be vulnerable at times. The journey to self-discovery is a wonderful path that gets easier with each day. Here are a few things that have helped me along the way:
1. Books- Knowledge is power! It’s my experience that most people don’t realize that they have a problem until they’re forced to face it socially. Whether it’s through relationships, working environments, or everyday social interactions, whatever issues that you may have tucked away will inevitably surface in the form of failed relationships, unsettled arguments, pride, and stubbornness. All of these things keep you from the life that you dream of. I’ve always envisioned a very peaceful life and I realized that I would have to actually learn HOW to be at peace within myself before that would ever be a reality. Here are a few books that have been life-changing for me: The Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer, Anatomy of the Spirit by Caroline Myss, The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho (I re-read this one every 3 months), and The Power of Intention by Wayne Dyer. I’m constantly on the hunt for new reads that challenge my way of thinking and inspire me to be my best self. Reading has truly helped me to grow and find ways to manage stress, smile a lot more and to feed my mind with positive affirmations.
2. Pampering- Oh yes… I have a fund set aside for things that relax me. This includes traveling, nice dinners, and purchasing things that are special to me. Most of my pampering involves relaxation and stillness. I’m often managing a pretty hectic schedule with working, being a mother, and building a business. I also have to make time to socialize with my friends and family even if it’s just a fun face-time date. I really enjoy collecting nice wines. In California we’re surrounded by amazing hillside vineyards, so my wine shelf is rarely ever empty. A nice glass of wine, aromatherapy candles, and a great book does the trick when I’m home. It’s how I unwind from long days. Find things that bring you peace and relax your mind and body. I also make sure to treat my self to an all out spa day at least once a month (this one’s my favorite).
3. Exercise- I’ve been an avid yogi for quite some time, but I’ve recently found that I really enjoy doing Pilates for my personalized workouts. Pilates helps to strengthen and tone the body. I’m someone who gets tense very easily and Pilates has helped me to keep a fluid and flexible spine along with an overall feeling of strength and wellness. I’m usually one of those people who you see running at 5am, but I find it harder and harder to find the time to mix up my cardio and strength training. Luckily Pilates gets your heart rate going and works your core while targeting all of your major muscle groups. Staying active gives me energy and the added confidence that I need.
4. Stay on your path!- Everyday won’t be roses and sunshine, but keeping a positive perspective will move mountains and clear a path in the right direction. Everyday I make a decision to try and feel my best, to be filled with energy, and to be an example to my children and the people around me. Being a source of light and laughter for my loved ones is something that’s genuinely fulfilling for me. And, it inspires others to be in a good mood as well. Living a life of integrity and thoughtfulness has helped me to be a better person, and it has most certainly increased my confidence and solidified the importance of my life as an individual. I matter, and knowing that you matter will give you the strength to go out and face anything!
How do you build self-confidence?